


Do I Wanna Know

by celestialr0se



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Finn/Raven are past relationship, Slow Burn, THE TENSION, anya is here and q u e e r, future mma fighting, i have been planning this story for a while now, i wasnt sure about posting it but since the 100 is dying i might as well post it ya know, lexa and octavia have something the show didnt provide for them...: a friendship, octavia has a rough past, while raven currently has a rough everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:14:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialr0se/pseuds/celestialr0se
Summary: “Why are you doing this?”“I don’t know..” She says truthfully, "It just feels like the right thing to do.”The sun and moon are your basic star crossed lovers.. One hot and one cold. But what if in other lost souls, they were both cold moons and their only source of warmth was each other?AKA the au where Octavia is haunted by her past and Raven’s losing herself in the pain of her present. One doesn't love herself and one doesn't want to love anyone. They slowly both fix each other and become each other’s light. Deep down they know how they feel for each other but coming from the same stubborn nature, they run away from each other but somehow always find themselves fall into the same place.The moon shines during the night, and the nights are mainly made for saying things you can’t say tomorrow day.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this first chapter basically introduces the background story in a way and who the characters are in this story, enjoy :)

_Two years ago.._

_She doesn’t recall even being able to jump over tall tables and climb high fences at all, but when adrenaline kicks in, boy can she soar through the wind and defy the laws of gravity. Her legs move faster and faster by the second before finally coming at a stop through a park and hiding behind the benches. She doesn’t realize how tired she was at all until now. When she looks around her and finds no one, she lets out a breath of relief and smiles. “You guys are right,” She says as she adjusts her earpiece, “Rich college kids are easy targets.” She gazes at the diamond watch that she takes out of her pocket._

_“I can’t believe you were able to pull that one off, O,” Monty gasps._

_“I can’t believe those frats keep their cash in a cheap safe in their living room.” Jasper laughs.”Man, Roan is going to give us a grand each just for them.” He excitingly laughs. She doesn’t even remember when times like these started happening, she lost count once they all started to pick up on this “hobby.” They went from stealing people's wallets through to being hired to steal things for people and actually being paid. Never once have they been caught, the three of them are perfect together. She was the muscle, Monty’s the brains, and Jasper is the heart and one hell of a driver._

_“If you think a grand is a lot, wait for the next heist he told me about,” She grins. The next mission for them was to break into some big time business man’s house and take everything that was kept in some safe that he keeps protected somewhere in the house. The robbery was both business and personal for Roan, so the promise of big payment was on her way. Monty is going to use his cut of the money to pay for his mom’s hospital bills, Jasper was thinking about it going to be their biggest mission yet and they had a unbothered run for a long time now, there isn’t anything that could possibly go wrong._

_At least, not yet._  


____

 

It’s interesting, isn’t it? Just being in any place you go and how it's surrounded by different people, whether that means riding the public bus, drinking your favorite drink with those extra shots of espresso in a coffee shop, or even dancing in a club. You fall into the same place with a multitude of others that hold different stories and perspectives on the world. The teenage boy with the headphones on with his face in his palms that's sitting at the back of the bus, the man with a suit on staring blankly at his wedding ring and then out the window, and the little girl who’s holding her mom’s hand tightly while the mother has her other hand gripped on groceries.. All of them have different lives and come from other places, but yet they all end up riding on the same bus heading to the same place at the same time.

 

**_Raven_ **

The first time she’s ever used someone else’s body to her advantage was three days right after her breakup with the only guy she only been with. It was the feeling of her cold body being pressed against someone else’s warm body that filled her soul with guilt.

For some reason she blames herself for the breakup.. Was she not good enough? Did she do something that made Finn forget about her in a matter of only ten days when she was out of town?

Everytime she sees something that reminds her of him, she’s left with these wonders of what she could of done for things to be different. Breaking up with him officially after a three year on/off relationship was already one tough thing for her to deal with, but having to constantly see him in the hallways around the same group of friends she hangs out with was a harder thing to live with. So to make it easier for herself, she pushed herself away from all of her friends except for Clarke. (With all the things they’ve gone through in their friendship, Clarke wasn’t going to let Raven’s grieving push her away.)

It’s been almost two months now since they called the quits at the end of their senior year and she's still refusing any emotional support from any of her close friends. She didn’t need or want it. Every time Clarke would try to bring it up, she always says the same two words: “I’m fine”, which is a universal phrase for: “I don’t want to talk about it.” There’s also most times that she would just stoically say, “Drop it.” Instead of talking about her feelings, she would spend meaningless nights with guys she’d meet at parties to help her distract her running thoughts for a night of tangled legs and hands gripped with bed sheets.

One night she even came across Bellamy, the feeling was mutual so she had no worries of any feelings being attached, which was a good thing because a relationship is the last thing she needed, besides he was the first and only body she felt contact with since Finn.Though their short and one time “no strings attached” friendship ended as soon as Bellamy met a girl he started seeing. She respected and supported him but it’s been weeks since then and she was craving that driven feeling.

“Let’s go out to the Galaxy tonight,” Clarke says for almost the thousandth time. The Galaxy was the small underground club and bar where college students and high school seniors with fake id’s go to drug themselves up and dance like sweaty monkeys, or at least that’s how Raven sees it.

“No.”

“Rae, come on,” Clarke nudges her shoulder, “You need to get yourself out there again!! Put a dress on and come with me and Lexa.” If going out to the Galaxy with Clarke with some dress with a potential typical jock hitting on her sounds terrible to her, also going with Lexa Woods sounded worse.

Her eyes wander around the ceiling and her lips pursed as if she was thinking about it. “Well, I do have these amazing shoulders.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” The blond friend smiles.

Raven drops the wandering look and meets eyes with Clarke again with eyebrows furrowed. “What makes you think I want to third wheel you and your evil girlfriend?”

“She’s _not_ my girlfriend.” Clarke immediately responds and Raven rolls her eyes. “She’s not evil either. God Raven, she gave you a paper cut _once_ in sophomore year, let it go.”

“I will never forget the pain.” She says with her hand over her heart.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Look who’s talking, you’re the one dating _Extra Lexa_ ,” She smirks and kinked her eyebrow.

Clarke groans because she knows she can’t ever mention Lexa without Raven teasing her. It was one kiss before junior year ended that was never really spoken about again because Lexa left to Polis right when summer started before senior year. “Just come with us.”

“We’re out of high school and now halfway into our summer and you guys haven’t banged yet-”

“Raven!” Clarke cuts her off with wide eyes.

“I’m _just_ saying!” She throws her hands up in defense, “Get the girl laid already before we officially start college, that’s all.”

“We’re just friends now. Can you come with us or not?”

Raven sighs, “If I said yes, would you finally shut up?”

“Yes.”

“Then, yes.”

Clarke smiles from cheek to cheek and jumps to her closet. “Red dress?”

“What other color in this world besides black will I dominate?”

“Red it is.” Clarke tosses the dress at Raven’s head.

“Where did you get this dress from?” She asks.

Clarke looks back at the messy avalanche of a mess her closet was and back towards Raven.“You just saw me grab it from my closet.”

The brunette smiles mischievously at her best friend.  “You’re used to having things in your _closet_ , huh?”

“Shut up.”

  


__________

 

**_Octavia_ **

 

The drive almost felt like it was a endless straight forward ride. There were no stops, just many trees surrounding them blocking the radiance of the sun. Luckily the tank was full, but driving ahead for another hour or two was painful especially with Bellamy's choice of music.  
  
"You're going to love being back home, don't worry O." Her brother reassures her for the millionth time. She already knows that's just his way of trying to tell her to not complain about leaving Polis.  
  
"Why do I have to stay at Uncle Kane's? Why can't I just stay with you at your apartment?" She groans. Marcus wasn't their real uncle, he was just always there to take care of her and Bellamy since their parents weren’t always around. They love him like family, but she just didn’t understand why she couldn’t stay with her brother.

“I’ve been working late shifts lately. You know I don’t want you to be alone, considering what happened last time-”

“It was one party!” She cuts his sentence short.

“You almost got me kicked out!”

___

The first thing she does when she gets to Uncle Kane’s house was say hello to him and he greeted her with a long and welcome-back type of hug where they hold you for a understandingly full four seconds before letting you go. She puts her bags down in her old room, but doesn’t unpack them all the way considering she was going to stay with Bellamy in a couple of days. The room she stood in brought many nostalgic feelings to her. This is the room and the house where she grew up in after her parents died and this is the room she could’ve stayed in if she wasn’t sent to a boarding school in Polis.

“Does Jasper know your back?” Uncle Kane says from the door, snapping her out of her thoughts.

She smiles hearing her best friend’s name before saying, “Not yet.”  

“He and Monty will be glad to know you’re back,” He says before walking away.

She looks at the window across of room near her old mattress. Before she left, she would always sneak out of this window and go over to Jasper’s house right next door and hang out with him and Monty. She lifts the window up and peeks on foot out of it, feeling the very familiar of what comes next. She jumps out the window and nearly twists her ankle, but she balances herself just in time before it even does so. Her next move with sneaking in Jasper’s window. The only light the sky shed was the stars that filled up it’s abyss and the streetlights. Once she finally got to his window, which was halfway open, she throws a pebble at Jasper who was on his computer.

“What the-” Jasper turns around to the direction where he had been hit. Octavia climbs into his room with a smile on her face. “Octavia?” He drops the confused look on his face and smiles.

“I’m back.” That’s all she says before being picked up by Jasper’s long arms and into a bear hug. “Last time I saw you, I’m pretty sure I was taller.” She laughs.

“Last time you saw me, I was still fighting puberty!” He says with excitement.

The door opens, following with a tired voice saying, “Why is it so loud in here- _Octavia??_ ” She turns to see Monty Green, a face she also hasn’t seen in three years. God, she didn’t realize how much she missed them this much.

“Monty!” She says before attacking him with her platonic affection.

He smiles and laughs at the her. “Man, it feels like an eternity since the last time I’ve seen you.”  What followed after was catching up on their lives. Jasper and Monty tells Octavia all about how much money they made from selling fake id's and  “magical beans” which was a drug they sold in some club that everyone hangs out in at night.

“I love how you guys come from stealing to selling,” She laughs and remembers the young thief was used to be when she used to hang out with them before she left.

“We aren’t as bad now and days, actually.” Jasper protests.

“Yeah ever since that night and you leaving, we didn’t really take interest into that anymore,” Monty adds. _That_ night was one hell of a life changer for Octavia, she hates even talking or thinking about it.

“Plus, your brother became a cop so it wasn’t so easy to go around stealing when he already knew we were doing all that.” Jasper laughs.

She laughs too, but this time it was more like a faded laughter where it seemed almost forced. “Are you okay, O? We know that night was tough for you-”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” She shakes her head at Jasper.

“Octavia, everyone sees you as a hero. You don’t need to continue to hang your head-”

“I’m no hero, Monty.” She cuts his sentence off also. “That was just a night where our original plans took another turn.”

Monty wants to say something but he doesn’t. He knows everything about that night because he was just on the other side of it but still couldn’t imagine what Octavia went through or still going through at least...and in that case, he didn’t feel like he had a say in where Octavia should let her feelings stand. Sometimes people would just say anything just to try to make someone else feel better even if it not true, they just say it because they don’t know what else they could say instead. So again, in this case, Monty decides not to say anything that he knows Octavia wouldn’t believe.

The room that was filled with brightness and smiles quickly turned into a different mood, but the quietness was beginning to turn into awkward tension. So Jasper, being Jasper, has an 8 mile running across his face and suggests: “Let’s go out to the Galaxy tonight.”

Octavia furrows an eyebrow, “The what?”

Monty and Jasper shoots a look at each other, both exchanging cryptic smiles on their faces.

“Can you guys tell me what _The Galaxy_ is instead of being weirdos?” She asks with a soft chuckle following.

Monty looks back at her and says, “How about we show you instead?”

____  


Once they get there, she couldn’t help but notice the amounts of underage people there were that filled the place. It looked like a typical underground club with a bar at the end other side of the room. Most of the people that was in here were college students, which she still hasn’t decided to be. She sits down on a bar stool next to Jasper and Monty challenging each other with shots. Before Jasper picks up the vodka in the small glass, she takes it from him and downs it herself, sticking her tongue at him. “I definitely did not miss you stealing my shots,” He chuckles.

“Alright! Who in here bumps to Alina Baraz & Galimatias?” The DJ yells through the mic and the crowd follows with cheers. Her eyes scan the crowd before a red dress surrounded by darker clothes spotted her eyes. She could hardly see the girl wearing it because of how far they were from each other, so she sits on the other stool just on the edge of the bar.

_“You look at me with certainty.. / I couldn’t look away..”_

And there she was.. Eyes closed with her hips shaking in rhythm with the electronic music, one arm waving in the air and the other alternating the move as if she was one beautiful wave.

_“Took your jacket off like.. / Like you were here to stay..”_

With the song slowly coming to it’s fade and the beat softens it’s drop, her body moves in a different tide. This time the girl in the red dress has her hands to herself, letting herself get lost in the music.

_“Chasin’ your pretty thoughts..”_

It felt to Octavia as if she really was at the beach. At the moment she was the one that stood with her ankles in the water going deeper and deeper in the ocean.

From across the crowd, the girl opens her eyes and immediately catches Octavia staring back at her. Octavia turned her head away so quick, she’s surprised that she didn’t snap her own neck.

She’s in the water, and the girl looking back at her felt like a wave crashing into her.

The sinking feeling of embarrassment rushed from her head to her stomach. She grabs someone else’s drink without that person even paying attention. She felt the need to pretend like she was doing something- anything, so she was just stirring the cranberry-vodka drink with the straw. She glances back up to the girl but she couldn’t find her in the crowd.

“You okay there?” An intoxicated Jasper who has his head bobbling to the music stands in front of her and snaps her out of her thoughts.

“Y-yeah.” She nods her head.

He eyes her for a second, it’s something he would do to find out if Octavia was really okay or not. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system or maybe it cause they were older and different now, but Jasper brushes off asking any other question. “Come on, dance with me and Monty!” He smiles.

She shrugs her shoulders. Dancing in a crowd wasn’t really her thing, plus she didn’t want to run into the girl. “I don’t know-” He doesn’t let her finish her sentence before pulling her arm and leading her to the dance floor that was surrounded by colored strobe lights changing colors every second.

“Fine, fine.” She groans. 

After being basically dragged to the dance floor, Jasper and Monty show Octavia their very amusing dance moves, like Jasper attempting to b-boy but ends it looking like he was mopping the floor with his body instead.

She lives for moments like these, where she could just be with the top people that could put a smile on her face. It was one of the things she missed the most when she was away at Polis. Don’t get her wrong, she grew to love the city but this kind of uncontrollable childish laughter was something she always had only with her two best friends.

The night continues just like this before she wonders about the girl who caught her wondering eyes. _It doesn’t matter, O. You’ll probably never see her again anyways._ She convinces herself that till her optimistic side believes it, even if a part of her really wants to come across her again.

___  


She almost forgets where she was going when she hops on top of her motorcycle and rides away. There was a sudden need to go back to the Galaxy after seeing that girl the other night. She’s come across many attractive faces in her life, she just hoped to see this one’s once more.

Once she opens the doors to get inside, her first destination was the dance floor.

The key lights that fade and flicker slowly from the colors green and yellow to blue and red crossing each other to form a moment purple before it falls away from each other only to repeat itself. From across the dance floor where she was just beginning to dance with a guy she didn’t even know the first name to, she sees the one of her wonders. Her arms slide away from the guy with the broad shoulders and her legs that was moving smoothly with the music stays still. The girl she saw from the previous night before was on the side of room that the red light shined on with regular yellow light bulbs surrounding the bar. This brunette downs a shot and another one.

Same place. Same time. Funny how the universe works, isn’t it?

She continues to study the girl from the other side of the room with a dry mouth, just wanting a taste of what this girl’s story was.

She moves from the blue lighting and into the dimmed red/yellow side. The  feeling of walking towards the bar where the girl was sitting at felt like she was walking right into a fire. Suddenly she felt hot, _stop walking, you’re going to embarrass yourself,_ she almost backs out and turns around but she already ends up sitting two seats away from her.

“What would it be? Henny? Vodka?” The tall and pale skinned bartender asked.

“Just a beer.”  She said and then glances at her, and notices something different right away. The same girl that slayed in a red dress in the previous night, wore a long green cardigan with high waisted denim shorts and a black tank top this time. There was a different mood into her that didn’t correspond to the confident version of her that Octavia first met eyes with.

“Here you go,” The bartender twists the cap off and hands it to her. He takes a long look at Octavia before saying, “Wait a second, _you’re_ the girl that was on the news that saved those kids a couple years ago!”

“Yup. That’s me.” She bluntly says, being reminded on why she left this city in the first place.

“That’s really damn rad, you know? If I were you, I would be a little more proud of that hero label-”

And that’s where he messes up without realizing it. “Don’t tell me what to feel _proud_ about, okay? You don’t know half the shit I went through because of that.” She snaps, but keeps a low voice.

“Whoa, okay.” He says, “I didn’t mean to hit a soft spot there-”

A small shot glass hits against the counter following with the words, “Another one.”  At the moment, it seemed like the bartender was relieved that someone slurred that loudly.

 _Past is in the past,_ she tries to tell herself.

“Reyes, you’re going to regret the hangover tomorrow morning-”

“Shut up Wick, and just pour the tequila.” The girl hissed with voice that was filled with what sounded like anger but not towards the bartender, but at the world. Although it was the mischievous yet sarcastic smirk that followed which said otherwise. And that’s where Octavia observed that at the same time this girl could dance and shine a light to fill the darkness could also be the same one that hid in the corner with the blinds closed away from the light. Maybe she should turn away and just leave to save herself from her. She could just sense the brokenness from the girl who was downing another shot. _I’m broken enough,_ she thinks.

She turns to the other side of her chair, ready to get up and walk away from her one second and one sided crush. Both of her feet were on the ground, but her body hasn’t fully made it’s turn yet because a guy who obviously looked like a jackass with his shiny blond hair slicked back wearing a high school varsity jacket with three different sports stitched onto it’s leather walks up to the girl that Octavia had wandering eyes on.

“Hey there,” Maybe it’s because the guy already sounded like he had a cocky voice or maybe it was Octavia’s light jealously that sparked her eyes rolling at his first words of approaching a girl with: “ _Hey there._ ”

“And the potential jock finally comes along.” The girl gasps with dry laughter.

“I don’t know what that means,” He stifles a laugh, “But what’s a pretty girl like you, doing in a place like this?” Octavia rolls her eyes once more at the level of cheesiness this guy has. “It just looks like you needed someone to come in and ask you if you wanted a real drink.” Octavia almost gags at how he tried to be ‘ _smooth_.’

The girl spins the shot glass with her fingers and Octavia swears she saw a small smile form. “Boys.” She scoffs, “Always making it seem like you’re doing the girl a favor.” She turns to face towards the guy,  “A drink, aye? What comes next? We go back to _your_ place and have hot sex and then you’d say you’ll call but really, you don’t. Because your man desires got what your man parts needed for one night.”

The guy rolls his eyes, but stays standing in place.

_Don’t get involved, don’t get involved._

“It’s just a drink.” He says.

“Or is it just _a drink_ ?” Octavia speaks up, staring at the beer bottle and then up to the guy. The girl two seats away from her looks up at Octavia and raises an eyebrow. _Fuck. Here we go._ “And at the moment when you eventually do call because you ran out of contacts in your phone, you become attached. Probably end up inviting her to your family parties-" 

“The younger brother’s little league game,” The girl adds, turning from attention Octavia to the guy.

Octavia glances at the girl and smiles shortly before turning her attention back the the guy also who has a cocky smirk on his face. “Or the niece’s choir case.” She continues.

“Even your dying Uncle Pat’ in the hospital..” The brunette adds another one with a fake concerned look, “And then you fall in love with something that all started with what it _seemed_ like a temporary one night stand drink.”

“Then in 2-3 years you propose and get married and lived happily ever after.” Octavia gives the guy a smile before sipping her beer.

“It was… just a drink-”

“Was it? Was it really?” The girl’s voice raises slightly just in a perfect sense of sarcasm. “Because it seemed like to me _Logan_ , can I call you ‘Logan’? You look like one-”

Octavia points at the guy the beer bottle in her right hand, “Actually he looks more of a _Chad_.”

“Chad!” The girl exclaims with a smile.

“It’s actually Brett.” The guy, who’s name is now Brett said in an annoyed tone. The girl and Octavia exchange looks with lips folded because the laughter they were both holding back. Brett rolls his eyes before walking away, cursing something under his breath. Now it was just Octavia left with the girl still two seats away and the bartender pouring drinks for customers on the opposite side.

“I’m Raven,” The girl said, sliding a shot glass of tequila over to Octavia with smile across her face.

It’s a welcoming gesture she thinks. She downs the shot with a cringe. “Octavia. And wow, that’s disgusting.”

“Well, _Octavia,_ ” Raven says her name as if she was testing the sound of it escaping her lips, “Now what’s a girl like _you_ doing in a place like this?” She said with a deeper voice and a wink, mimicking Brett.

Octavia chuckles softly before moving a one seat closer towards the girl of her wonders. “I’d ask you the same thing.”

Raven looks down at the four empty shot glasses in front of her and becomes quiet for a moment. It seemed as if she was sinking into her mind. A mind that will be soon in an intoxicated state once the tequila kicks in. “If you really want to know, it’s going to take more than these shots right here,” Her eyes turn back up to meet Octavia’s again.

“If I didn’t know any better, I think you’re hinting me to buy you a _drink_.” Octavia kinks her eyebrow and takes another sip from the beer in her hand. Raven rolls her eyes but smiles back at Octavia’s attempts to flirt.

“There’s so much to say but in just little time.”

“I got all night.”

Raven takes a longer look at Octavia before she fixates herself on the bar stool more comfortably. “You know, you look.. Familiar.”

And in that second where green meets brown in a longing gaze, they settled locked in a moment of _familiarity_. The gaze was broken once a figure with broad shoulders cuts in the middle and takes the seat in between of the two girls. Octavia quickly recognizes the back of the head that held blond hair and the stench of strong cologne. “I figured to let the drink come to you.” It was Brett, and even if his back was turned on Octavia, she could just sense the smug on his face.

“Thanks?” Raven awkwardly said.

“Thank me later,” He says before getting up to walk away and earning a glare from Octavia. Raven looks down at the drink and furrows an eyebrow before looking back at Octavia.

“Well, a free drink is a free drink,” The brown eyed girl shrugs her shoulders before picking up the glass. Octavia watches her before she notices something unusual in the drink and quickly takes the drink out of her hand before Raven even had a chance to have her lips even touch the cup. “Hey-”

“This drink is cloudy,” She cuts the other girl’s sentence short and looks closely in the drink. Her eyes shoot back up to find the blond headed asshole.

“He tried to roofie me..” Raven growls.

Something in Octavia triggers. She despises things like this, especially when it’s happening right in front of her face. It takes her back to the memory she’s haunted by and the moment where she was too weak to protect anyone, but she’s changed now. She’s older and stronger, and definitely not going to let _Brett_ get away with this. Her legs swing to the side and her feet touches the ground heavily. Once she spots his blond head of hair, she comes charging at him with a push from the back.

“What the-”

“You tried to _drug_ her? Couldn’t handle rejection that bad?!” She yells at the six foot arrogant guy who’s just smirking at her.

“It’s harmless,” His laugh barely faded away before Octavia connected her fist to his jaw. “ _Bitch_!” He curses and stands up straight to retaliate,  but other bystanders came rushing and pulled him away from coming any more near Octavia. She grabs a drink that was closest to her and extends her arm out to the point the drink splashes against his shirt.

“Harmless, huh?” She said before turning the other direction back the bar stool. This time she sits right where she was in the beginning, two seats away from Raven. She could just feel Raven’s amused face studying her, but doesn’t look back up to her.

“Two shots of tequila.” She tells the bartender.

“Coming up,” He says in an impressed voice.

“That..” Raven speaks up. “That was really cool.” She sounded as impressed as the bartender. When the bartender turns back and sets the shots in front of Octavia, she immediately slides one of them other to Raven.

“Like I said,” Octavia starts and then downs the shot, “I got all night.”

“Let’s hope you don’t know better than,” Raven said before taking the shot.

Octavia looks at her for what it seemed like a long time, trying to read this girl. She wondered if it was the obvious state of intoxication that made Raven so laid back, but yet her eyes reveals more than what’s really shown on the outside.

“What?” Raven’s voice snaps her out of her deeper thoughts. Maybe she’s over reading everything.

She chuckles. “Why do I have a feeling you’re going to mess up my life?”

The brown hair girl stands up to move closer and sits down on the stool right next to Octavia, close enough where green eyes met her brown.

“A little mess never hurt anyone.” Her lips formed into the perfect smirk that really showed how cocky this girl is, but that doesn’t make Octavia want to turn away at all. Instead, she takes Raven by the wrist and towards the dance floor.

This side of the room continued to shine red and blue and Octavia never felt so alive. The soothing and driven feeling to the music of Alina Baraz & Galimatias is what really brings their bodies to collide under these lights. Raven’s right behind Octavia with her hands tracing the toned girl’s body. They both melt into the moment and it’s almost like Octavia couldn’t feel anything but Raven’s lips just barely brushing against the side of her neck. She turns around, almost connecting their lips. They stand there for a second, suddenly every thing in the background sounded muffled and barely audible to them. All they saw was the colors pass through their faces, in which the strobe of blue passed through Octavia’s face and red on Raven’s. She connects her right hand softly on the left cheek of Raven’s face, leaning in to taste her lips.

And there they were in the middle of the crowd, lips locked with lights around them that formed purple, and that’s how exactly they felt in this moment. It’s almost as if something clicked inside Octavia in her chest when Raven deepened the kiss. Their tongues danced together in the just the right rhythm and movement along to the beat of the slow step song. They slowly pull away to catch air, gazing at each other as if nothing at all was around them but purple lights.

There’s something about Raven that made Octavia burn inside with even more desire, but through Raven’s eyes it was a different story. Raven takes one step back and takes her own hand to touch her lips.The gaze broke once Raven turns her head and quickly walks through the crowd.

“Wait!” Octavia tries to reach for her hand but Raven had already disappearing. This whole moment feels like deja vu slapped across her face once and the familiar feeling of being too slow and late brings crippling anxiety into her chest. _Not again.._ She thinks as she follows where Raven went out of the dance floor, still trying to figure out what happened at the same time. Scanning around the place to find the girl, she almost becomes dizzy from turning her head.

Raven walked away and that was her choice, but Octavia couldn’t help to wonder why. Did she do something wrong? _What’s the point?_ She thinks again before looking left to right one last time.

Maybe that’s how it is in life, people will show up at the same place at the same time stay for a second before leaving.

People always leave and in her head, you either stay and mope about it or leave as well. 

And so she left too.

  
She was always good at it anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys liked my first chapter! please leave feedback!


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